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Post by satrix on Sept 23, 2017 0:25:50 GMT -5
I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I can't put it down.
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Post by tao on Sept 23, 2017 4:03:12 GMT -5
I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I can't put it down. TBH, glue isn't a page turner. You know what is? Wind. Now that was a page turner.
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Post by darkxempire on Sept 24, 2017 22:32:31 GMT -5
A Native American joke:
The pony needed to yell up a message to the eagle, and asks the snake to help him. When asked, the snake says "why can't you do it yourself?" The pony replies, "because I am a little horse*"
*hoarse
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Post by darkxempire on Sept 24, 2017 22:50:15 GMT -5
A panda bear retired from the zoo and spent his first night as a free bear getting his drink on at a bar. Later in the night he meets a wonderful woman who shows great interest in Mr Bear and invites him back to her place. One thing led to the next and the two ultimately had sex. While they put their clothes on, the woman begins demanding payment. The panda is confused when the lady remarks, "I am a Prostitute." The panda, fresh out of the zoo, has no idea what a prostitute is. The woman reaches in the nightstand, grabs a dictionary and throws it to the panda, "look up prostitute." she says
the panda reads aloud "Prostitute, a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment."
Hmm, interesting, the panda thinks. He then throws the dictionary back to the prostitute, "look up Panda Bear."
The prostitute stumbles through the pages then reads "Panda bear. Eats: Shoots and leaves."
As she said the last word the panda walked out the door.
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 25, 2017 13:40:12 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off how little they eat.
But then I remember they feed off attention
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 25, 2017 13:43:28 GMT -5
The doctor asked me if I would like an extra chromosome.
I told him I would be 100% down with it.
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 25, 2017 13:49:22 GMT -5
A young child is walking through the forest late at night with a clown.
The child turns to the clown and says "Gee mister it sure is scary in these woods"
"You're telling me" says the clown, "I have to walk out of here alone!"
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 26, 2017 11:46:25 GMT -5
My boss hates when I shorten his name to dick Especially when his name is Steve
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 26, 2017 11:47:49 GMT -5
I got banned from Laser Tag today
They didn't like when I used a knife to save ammo
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Post by Zeke on Sept 27, 2017 0:54:40 GMT -5
Damn Endurance is the the real player in this thread. Love it.
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 27, 2017 17:28:10 GMT -5
Damn Endurance is the the real player in this thread. Love it. Hahaha honestly easiest way to get the post count.
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 27, 2017 17:29:36 GMT -5
Why are catholic priests called father?
Because Daddy would be too suspicious.
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Post by endurance13 on Sept 27, 2017 17:31:27 GMT -5
Prince Harry and Prince William must feel so awkward at the strip club.
Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a strippers bra
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Post by satrix on Sept 27, 2017 20:15:53 GMT -5
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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Post by thuscore on Sept 28, 2017 4:12:27 GMT -5
Why do shoes always come in pairs? Because they like to Converse. -Stolen from Dan Harmon haha awesome one
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