|
Post by nicomack7 on Oct 17, 2017 13:47:19 GMT -5
What do you call a redneck girl that can out run her brothers?
A virgin
|
|
|
Post by nicomack7 on Oct 17, 2017 13:51:00 GMT -5
Why do the Scottish wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
|
|
|
Post by nicomack7 on Oct 17, 2017 13:53:23 GMT -5
Why did the redneck cross the road?
Because he couldn’t get his dick out of the chicken.
|
|
|
Post by nicomack7 on Oct 17, 2017 14:13:28 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by nicomack7 on Oct 17, 2017 14:14:49 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Zeke on Oct 17, 2017 15:19:26 GMT -5
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethopian? A pair of jeans only has one fly on it. Oucccchhhhh
|
|
|
Post by tao on Oct 18, 2017 0:09:27 GMT -5
Once there was a redneck couple who had 9 kids and wanted to stop before they had more, so they went to a doctor, told him their predicament and asked for advice. The doctor looked at them and said: "take a cherry bomb, place it in an empty can and count to 10." The couple thought that was stupid advice and left him to get a second opinion from another doctor. The second doctor listened to their predicament, looked at them and said: "take a cherry bomb, place it in an empty van, and count to 10." Confused, they left the doctor, and on the way home, they decided to try the doctor's advice. Once they got home, the husband went out to the shed, placed a cherry bomb inside an empty can, lit it and held the can as he began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...." He stopped, slightly confused. Then he placed the can between his legs and finished counting on his now free hand: "6, 7, 8, 9, 10......"
|
|
|
Post by endurance13 on Oct 19, 2017 16:14:05 GMT -5
A magician was working on a cruise ship.
Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...
"Okay, I give up. Where's the ship?"
|
|
|
Post by endurance13 on Oct 19, 2017 16:15:11 GMT -5
A woman goes to buy a parrot. The prices are 100, 50, and 10. She asks why the third one is so cheap?
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.
When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.
When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
|
|
|
Post by trashgrind on Oct 20, 2017 11:08:30 GMT -5
What soup weighs the most? wonton (one ton) -a dad
|
|
|
Post by satrix on Oct 22, 2017 5:21:50 GMT -5
Three friends are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish.
The first friend wishes to be back home. Wish granted. The second friend wishes the same. Wish granted. The third friend says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted.
|
|